Remarks Offered at the Funeral Service August 22, 2006, St. Mary of Mt. Carmel Church Dunmore, PA

Before I begin, I would like to thank Fr. Dorris for giving me the opportunity to share these remarks.

I would like to say that after more than 60 years of attending services like this, I can say, without hesitation, that you, Father, are a priest “who knows the Shepherd.”

"When God loves a creature, he wants the creature to know the highest happiness and the deepest misery...

He wants him to know all that being alive can bring. That is the best gift...There is no happiness save in understanding the whole."

Wilder's words best describe Mrs. Loftus life.

She was one of the strongest women I have ever known, and yet, her heart was as big as a harvest moon.

Her journey here did not begin at a manor, but it ended in a garden of riches…not the conventional, commodified trappings of a world that accumulates things. That was not her way.

Her home was modest, but always welcoming. Her resources limited but always shared.

Her table was blue collar solid and for too many years the seat at the head of the table was empty. Nevertheless, there was always food, beverage and enjoyment for anyone who was invited to sit at the table.

Her dreams were big, but never for herself…always for others…

And more specifically for her children and her grandchildren.

Her mind was sharp and quick from her early days in Archbald to her final days in Dallas.

In fact, a few months ago, when a social worker was doing an assessment with her, she learned this the hard way.

At the start of the interview the social worker asked: “ Nancy, do you know where you are?”

Without hesitation, she raised her head and replied: “Yes. I’m on the second floor, and I’m thinking about jumping out the window.”

On the evening of the Irish Teachers Festival in Windsor Park this August, a dear friend, Ellen Mondlak approached her and without hesitation, Mrs. Loftus smiled and asked, “And what did you bake for tonight?”

Ellen, in typical Irish fashion, tried to reverse the question, “I was just about to ask you, what did you bake?”

Without missing a beat, Mrs. Loftus replied: “Mine’s already up there, now what did you bake?”

She was an undisputed master of the last word!

Her opinions were fixed and freely expressed, but never designed to hurt.

Her days on the payroll were long and hard…and there was almost nothing she would not do to support her family…retail…public opinion polling…and so much more…she did it with a smile on her face and a determination that her children would have a life that was better than hers.

Kitch, Pete and Nancy were her riches, and like diamonds they radiated her glory:

In the newsroom…

In the accounting firm…

In the financial services industry…

In the classroom…

These three are All American quality…all goodness…all competence….all kindness…just like their parents.

Each of her children learned by her example to: “Spread love everywhere you go. Be the living expression of God's kindness; kindness in your face, kindness in your eyes, kindness in your smile, kindness in your warm greeting.”

No, Nancy Loftus was not Mother Teresa…

Anyone who participated in the girls night out meetings at Sal’s knew that.

As her dear friend, Mrs. Butler said with a chuckle, “If those tablecloths as Sal’s could talk.”

Yet, in a very real way, she lived Mother Teresa’s philosophy in beautiful ways.

She was a woman with presence…

A woman with character…

A woman of compassion…

A woman who felt compelled to help people.

She saw to it that residents at Adams Manor had baskets of presents at Christmas…she volunteered for the Red Cross…she gave here services to the Ronald Mc Donald House.

It was her example that encouraged Kitch to establish Operation Friendship.

It was her love of animals that blessed Nancy and Kitch in ways that made little creatures smile.

It was her example of kindness that Pete modeled every time my aging mother walked into his office at Parente Randolph. As I stand here this morning, I can hear his words spoken with compassion and understanding; “Grammy is here. What would you like me to do?”

Nancy Loftus was a woman with many names: Alice, Harry, George, Mrs. Murphy, Big Nancy, The General and my favorite, Rose. Legally she was Nancy, but for me she was like a mother and so I gave her my mother’s middle name, Rose.

She loved it!

Two moments in a relationship that span a generation stand out as the brightest stars in Rose’s constellation. Our first meeting took place at Nancy Strenkert’s wedding.

As I tentatively made my way into the reception, she walked across the room… looked me in the eye…smiled and said; “I’m Nancy Loftus. Welcome to our family.”

I must confess, I liked her from the first hello!

She had that way with me and hundreds more. She made me feel welcome at the table with her family and in the company of her oldest daughter and the center of my life, Kitchy.

The other image that I will take to my grave was recorded in my mind and heart on August 19, 2006, in the quiet of her room at Mercy Center with pictures of her grandchildren Peter, Frankie, and Emma watching her every move, and PJ, Julia and Elizabeth smiling from behind four stuffed animals, and a picture of a pumpkin patch housing her sisters one fall. Below Emma’s artwork and an unframed picture of a place she loved, Windsor Park, there were her three diamonds radiating the light of her legacy as they held her hand, whispered private thoughts and gave her comfort as she made her way toward heaven.

It was, without question, one of the most beautiful manifestations of love I have ever seen

I loved Nancy Loftus in ways that I cannot accurately express in words, but the words that I spoke to her in St. Mary’s Church on a cool July night in 1983 give some indication of the depth of those feelings.

For me, Nancy Loftus was and always will be a heroine. Someone I admire...someone I respect…someone I trust.

We are saddened and feel a sense of great loss because someone who loved us in special ways is no longer here on earth.

But the story of Nancy Loftus does not end on a sad note. We are overjoyed that this powerful force…this wonderful mother…this good companion…this kind and humorous lady is now at peace in heaven, and as Kitch said so beautifully in the presence of her mother on Sunday:

“Isn’t it wonderful she lived? She gave so many people such joy.”

One final thought. When I began the research for these remarks, I wrote to Linda Ellis, the author of the poem, The Dash. It is a poem that speaks to death by addressing what is important in life.

I asked for permission to read the poem at this service, and Linda Ellis honored that request.

Subsequent to that correspondence, I learned of the new time constraints imposed by our bishop on eulogies at funerals in this diocese.

So before this day ends, I would ask everyone to read The Dash. It is a perfect description of the way Mrs. Loftus lived her life, and it is a blueprint for all of us to do the same.

May our beloved Rose rest in peace.

Anthony J. Mussari, Ph.D.
Son-in-Law

In honor of Mrs. Loftus, The members of our family have established the Nancy Beck-Loftus Memorial Fund to benefit the Women With Children Program at College Misericordia, Dallas, PA.

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